Why Ignoring Yellow Flags Costs You

This week, a recurring question emerged in my inbox, conversations, and coaching sessions: “How do I know when to cut someone out?”

Let’s clarify something from the start: This isn’t just about moving on; it’s about cutting the cord before you become so entangled that it strangles your emotional and mental well-being.

The Yellow Flag You Keep Ignoring

You know that feeling in your gut? The one that waves,

“Something’s off.”

That uncomfortable “yuki” sensation twists in your belly when someone says something sly, passive-aggressive, or manipulative. It happens when they cross a boundary so subtly that it’s easy to second-guess it.

That, my friend, is not just anxiety or overthinking; that’s your nervous system’s early warning system. In trauma-informed language, we call this neuroception, your body’s subconscious ability to detect safety or threat in your environment. It picks up on cues before your mind can process them.

But here's the thing: Most of us were never taught to trust that signal. Especially those conditioned to prioritize harmony over honesty or connection over self-respect.

From Yellow to Red

When you disregard the yellow flag, when you gaslight yourself into silence, you essentially grant permission for the situation to escalate.

So you stay.

You excuse.

You minimize.

Until one day, you're no longer dealing with yellow. You find yourself deep in red flag territory, toxic cycles, broken trust, and maybe even emotional or psychological abuse.

And now? You’re no longer just feeling uneasy; you’re emotionally dysregulated. You’re snapping. You’re shutting down. You’re crying in parking lots and calling it “just tired.” Or worse, you’re lashing out, not just at the person who hurt you, but at the people who love you.

The Dangerous Delay

Pretending the feeling isn’t there feels easier. Cutting someone out sounds harsh. We cling to what could be instead of accepting what is.

But at what cost?

• Your peace?

• Your self-worth?

• Your clarity?

• Your mental health?

  
  

When we ignore yellow flags, we sacrifice the very things we’re trying to protect: ourselves.

You Might Have to Clean Up What You Allowed

This part is hard to admit. Sometimes, it’s not just about what they did; it’s also about what you ignored. What you tolerated. What you kept giving passes to.

That doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human. But it also means you have a responsibility now.

You need to grieve it. Process it. Heal the part of you that stayed too long.

So, How Do You Cut It Out?

1. Acknowledge the Feeling. That yuki gut twist isn’t lying. It’s data. Listen to it.

2. Name the Behavior. Is it disrespect? Gaslighting? Neglect? Identify the pattern, not just the incident.

3. Speak (or Write) Your Boundary. You don’t owe everyone an explanation, but you owe yourself clarity.

4. Act While You're Calm. Don’t wait until you’re in a breakdown. Decide in peace who deserves to stay in your life.

5. Accept the Grief That Comes With Growth. Cutting someone out doesn’t mean you didn’t love them. It means you finally chose you.

   
   

There Is Better Energy Meant for You

Life isn’t just about cutting people out; it’s about making space. For better relationships. For mutual respect. For peace that doesn’t make you question your worth.

So next time your gut sends that yuki yellow flag, pause. Reflect. And if needed?

Cut. It. Out.

Moving Forward with Clarity

As you navigate these feelings, remember that recognizing yellow flags is a skill. It takes practice and patience. Each time you listen to your gut, you strengthen your ability to discern what is healthy for you.

Building Healthy Boundaries

Establishing boundaries is crucial. It protects your emotional space and promotes healthy interactions. Communicate your limits clearly and consistently.

The Importance of Self-Reflection

Take time to reflect on your experiences. Journaling can be a powerful tool. Write down your feelings, thoughts, and any patterns you notice. This practice can help you gain clarity and insight into your relationships.

Seeking Support

Sometimes, you may need external support. Consider talking to a therapist or a trusted friend. They can provide perspective and help you navigate your feelings.

Embracing Change

Change can be daunting, but it often leads to growth. Embrace the changes you make in your life. They can open doors to new opportunities and healthier relationships.

Conclusion: Trust Yourself

Ultimately, trust yourself. Your feelings are valid. Your instincts are powerful. By paying attention to those yellow flags, you empower yourself to create a life filled with respect, love, and authenticity.

xoxo Vie